Self Confidence Can Suck It!!

Callie Geurts is my favorite. No big deal. Gosh, anyway..... The point of this post. How I HATE how much I lack self confidence. I hate that people use that lack of self confidence against you, just to tear you down. Farther.... and farther.... until you want to cry. Like when you realize that your spoon has hit the bottom of your huge tub of ice cream. Peanut Butter Cup, to be specific.

I hate high school already. I shall explain, I walked into Brighton High School the other day to get my picture taken. and I walk past a girl that I literally have never been mean to in my entire life, and she stops, glares at me, and proceeds to make a lovely gagging noise in my face and walk away. Yup, think about that for a while... the lovely gagging sound... how she sounded like she was going to huck a lugie... soak it into your brain... the highlight of my day! As you can imagine, that boosted my self esteem by a good ten points....

I've been having the deepest conversation of my life with a friend lately... and I'm the first to admit that I may seem like I have confidence since I'm so dang obnoxious and loud, but ohhh, am I a buliding ready to collapse sometimes. We all are. But just remember. JUST REMEMBER. every person is allowed to think about what they love about themselves every once in awhile.

So now it's my turn.

- I love my chocolate brown hair.

- I love that I can play the piano.

- I love that I can act.

- I love that I most definitely am the most uncoordinated dancer you will ever lay eyes upon.

- I love my laugh. Even when it gets to the crazy hysterical sounding one.

- I love that I love God.

- I love that I'm a bookworm.

- I love that I'm a cry baby.

- I love that I'm very sensitive of other peoples feelings.

I love that even though I feel like I'm not worth anything sometimes, in the end, ever person is worth everything.

NOT ME Wednesdays....

I did NOT wake up and go straight to the TV to watch Beauty and the Beast on Disney Channel.

I did NOT eat Cocoa Krispies while I watched.

I did NOT dance around the house singing AJ Rafael's whole Red Roses Album.

I did NOT think about how much I miss my friends Callie and Nate.

I did NOT spend a whole entire hour staring at my school schedule and thinking about how many school supplies I still need to buy.

I did NOT read all of my older brothers mission letters again, and think about how much I missed him, which totally did NOT proceed in me crying for a good 20 minutes.

I did NOT think about fifteen other ideas of what to post today, and only came up with this.

I totally DID think about how I love all my friends and family, so so much. :)

Picture/quote of the day:

This is the first photo that came up when I typed in "the meaning of life" :

I don't know what this world has come to...

Well, I have nothing else to say to you people, so I guess I'll post something significant of some sorts later.

The Meaning of Life

Well, I'm posting this for my friend Nick, but first, I must disclose that I never claimed to know the meaning of life. I definitely don't. But I know what I hope it to be.

Happiness. It's that simple. The meaning of life is to be happy. I'm a believer in God, and that's what I go by. God wants us to be as happy as possible. If we live our lives being so depressed and complain constantly, then we have been a disappointment to ourselves. We are put on this amazing place to strive to live the happiest life possible. Um, at first I planned to make this a funny post, but I'm just not feeling it. I really am happy in my life. I love my friends, and I love my family. Ohhh, my family. They are the meaning of my life. :) They make life better. They make me happy. I get to make them happy. I love my siblings, and I love my parents. I love being the youngest of five kids with two brother in laws. :)

My Whole Family. :) whoop whoop!!

My friends.... :)

..... :)

...... :)

........ :)

But honestly, this is it. This is the meaning of life, to find whatever makes you happy. Honestly, truly, happy!

Rank.

I'm at work, and my office reaks of a nasty fish smell. It is positively rank. >:( On a side note, beautiful hair. :)

Madness.

Life is so confusing to me, no matter how many nights I spend laying in my bed, not conversing with the family just to think about it. I'm a relatively bubbly girl. I'm outgoing, I giggle profusely, and I never seem to be able to wipe that family smile off my face. But I'm a lot more of a deep thinker than people would assume, or i aspire to be. Everyone has their hopes and dreams, I guess. :)

One thing I've figured out in my life, that I've finally made up my mind about, is that nothing is ever worth holding a grudge. I'm not saying that I'm perfect at doing so, but it's a motto i definitely want to come to live by eventually.

I feel like these days we live in a very cynical world, and that 90% of the reason is that people don't forgive. Call me mad, but rarely anything is worth ruining "my peace." It's this thing that I love to think about everyday, since my sister Natalie sat me down and told me. Think about, for instance, your older brother eating your ice cream in the fridge (This is the worst example in the world... I know. Gimme' a break.) and it makes you angry. Don't let it ruin your peace. It's that simple. Don't let something that silly, ruin your day. Because when your day is ruined, it's more than likely that it will definitely give every single person around you a bad vibe, and their mood will be affected too.

Pretty sure this whole blog post is completely pointless, but that's ok. I feel like this is more for me then anyone else, anyway. There are so many amazing things on this Earth, so many amazing people in your life, and so many places that you can buy more ice cream if your brother has eaten it. Just keep your peace, I know I will definitely try my hardest to.